So, my ‘little boy’ is all set to take up his first place University choice - English and Politics at York. School hasn’t been easy for him - he went to 4 primaries and 3 secondaries and spent almost all of year 8 at home or attending a Pupil Referral Unit for vulnerable children. He was eventually diagnosed with Dyspraxia, ADHD and ASD and that helped a lot with understanding his world better, but due to ridiculous levels of incompetence at then-Tory Trafford Council, he didn’t actually get an EHCP until the day he enrolled for A levels. Luckily (that’s not the right word, but it will do for now) we have some ‘pretend family’ who were able to help support his education - he attended a fee-paying school for three years before going to our local grammar for A Levels (the system here is still entirely selective - there is no way my 11 year old autist would’ve passed an 11 plus and he couldn’t cope with the noise, bustle and bullying of a large school, anyway). I’ve definitely wrestled with guilt about that - what would we have done if we didn’t have L&S to help? Home educate? Maybe, but he’s brighter than I am and our brains are wired up differently. I’m almost certain the universe had a cosmic joke at my expense when it gave me Nate, I’ve always flown by the seat of my pants, seeing little benefit in actually planning stuff and here was a baby who needed routine and advance warning and no last-minute changes to anything ever. And it was just us, for the most part. My mum died when he was little and left us as a team of two (with the occasional extra player - 3 stepdads! All still part of Nate’s life) until Ivy joined us. Ivy said that yesterday was the ‘worse day of her life’ and cried big wet tears at the thought of her brother leaving home. Which was good, because I really wanted cry too, but I knew Nate really needed me to be as happy with his results as he was - Ivy cried enough for both of us.
So, this is for my son, Nathan Leonard Timo Hardy and for Linda and Sam Baxter, and for their son, Timo, who died the year before Nate was born, murdered by strangers, wrong place, wrong time. And for all the parents of SEN kids whose children have (cont. in comments)
From the series: She’s An Overnight Sensation After Twenty-Five Years.
Beads, Buttons, Sequins and Broken Things – Part One
re:
Passing Time
From the series: Nan-Mum-Me
Mauby, when she was at school. 1927.
Silence
Minutiae
